


Relying on you.

by Geekygirl669



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Mpreg Nick Clark, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geekygirl669/pseuds/Geekygirl669
Summary: Nick and Troy suffer a lose they never saw coming
Relationships: Nick Clark/Troy Otto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Relying on you.

Troy looked over at Nick no clue what he was supposed to say in a situation like this, no idea how he was supposed to help his boyfriend.

“It’s all my fucking fault.” Nick muttered as he shook his head. “It’s all my fault.”

“How is this your fault?” Troy asked in disbelief as he looked away from the floor in front him and over to Nick. “How is any of it your fault?”

Nick shock his head again not understanding how his boyfriend couldn’t understand this. “I got so high when we were at the trading post, I don’t think there was a time where I wasn’t high in the two weeks were there. I killed our baby.”

“You didn’t know you were pregnant.” Troy pointed out, the last thing he wanted was for his boyfriend to blame something he doesn’t have any control of on himself. “Your sister was out there on your own, your friend was dying and you were in a crap place, you made mistake but this isn’t your fault. You had no clue.”

“I know what being pregnant like Troy.” Nick shouted shocking the older man.

“What do you mean?”

Nick sighed as the realisation of what he had just said hit him. “This wasn’t my first miscarriage.”

“It wasn’t?” Troy asked after Nick was silent for what felt like at least a couple of minutes trying to push the other man into talking a little.

“No.” Nick shock his head knowing that he needed to talk about what happened back then with someone and knowing that there was no one better to talk to then the man he loved, then the man that loved him. “Back when I was using, when I was at my worst. I don’t remember much of it but I do remember sleeping with a lot of people my age, older, girl, boy, anyone who wanted to sleep with me really. It all caught up with me pretty quickly and I ended up pregnant.” 

Troy continued to look at his boyfriend, trying to show Nick that he was here to listen no matter what. “You don’t have to talk about all this if you don’t want to.” Troy made sure Nick knew when his boyfriend went quiet again.

“I know I don’t, but I want too.” Nick assured the other man. “I found out I was pregnant pretty quickly and when I did I was kind of happy about it, I was a sixteen year old junkie but I was happy about it, so I stopped using. I think it was the longest I ever really stopped for before all this happened. I did everything the doctor told me and I lost the baby.”

“Nick.” Troy looked over at his boyfriend. 

“I’m okay now. I think I am anyway.” Nick assured the other man as he looked over to face Troy. “I don’t really know how I feel right now.”

Troy reached over to pull his boyfriend in for tight side hug trying to give his boyfriend all the comfort he could.

The two of them sat there, Nick holding onto his boyfriend crying into Troy’s shoulder, as the sun set around them and the world outside turned black. 

“I’m sorry.” Nick said as he looked up at his boyfriend, his voice a little horse from lake of use and drinks. 

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Troy assured him trying to give Nick the most loving look he could. “Wasn’t something you could help.”

“I know, deep down I think I know that but I can’t stop thinking it’s all my fault, like I could have somehow stopped this.” Nick admitted as he reluctantly pulled himself away from the comforting embrace of his boyfriend. “It’s probably for the best though. I wouldn’t have been able to look after a kid before all this happened let along now.”

Troy looked at his boyfriend, his heart-breaking for the man in front of him. “You would make a good dad Nick, your great with kids.”

“I can deal with kids for a little while. I can play some games with them and stuff like that. But I can barely look after myself Troy let alone another human being as well.” Nick pointed out with a small sigh. “Nick I’ve been sober for three weeks and that’s only because I haven’t been able to get hold of any drugs. I wouldn’t be alive if all this happened Troy.”

“How can you know that?”

“I was nineteen Troy and I had already been to rehab four times. And it never worked.” Nick shock his head getting himself ready to tell Troy stuff he hadn’t thought about in a long time. “The first walker I saw was my girlfriend, she must have overdosed while I was passed out, woke up to her eating someone, I was so high that I ran away got hit by a car and when I got to the hospital everyone thought that it was just some hallucination from the drugs. Since the first I used I’ve taken almost every opportunity to use a possibly could. I would be dead right now, I knew it then and I know it now.”

“Doesn’t mean you would make a bad father.” Troy pointed out.

“Doesn’t really matter anymore though.” Nick pointed out with a small shrug of his shoulders. “Can we just go to sleep? I don’t really want to talk about this anymore.”

"Yeah we can go to sleep.” Troy nodded as he moved himself to lay down on the bed, Nick quickly following. 

Nick sighed a little as he laid down with his head on Troy’s chest. “You know when we first met the last thing I expected was this.”

Troy just nodded in agreement before he tried to let himself fall asleep.

*********************************************

Nick woke the next morning a numb feeling still all around him as he looked for his boyfriend, see no sign of the older man.  
Carefully pushing himself to his feet Nick walked over to the small mirror they had in their room, looking himself over. And as he did he knew most people would see themselves looking this tired, this bad and feel like they were looking into the eyes of a stranger. But for Nick, looking at himself wasn’t all that strange. While it had been awhile since he had the chance to look in a mirror the way he looked reminded him of how he looked every time his high ended bad, how he looked most of the time while he was using.

“Hey.” Troy said as he walked into the room, a tray of food in his arm.

“Hey.” Nick replied as he looked back at the older man. “You got breakfast?”

“Lunch.” Troy corrected as he placed the tray on the bed, walking over to wrap his arms around Nick’s waist. “You okay?”

“I don’t know.” Nick admitted as he turned around in Troy’s arms so that he could look up at the older man. “Just don’t leave me.” Nick had never needed someone as much as he needed Troy. He realised that the day in the dam, Troy had become such a big part of his life, someone he cared about so much and now as he looked up into the older boy’s eyes Nick realised how much he loved the man and how in such a short amount of time he had come to rely on Troy Otto. “Just stay here, all day.”

“We can do that.” Troy agreed with a small nod willing to so just about anything for the younger man. “Just lay in bed for the day. Not like there’s much else for us to do anyway.”

“Thank you.” Nick leaned up to kiss Troy lightly taking all the comfort he could get from being in his arms before he pulled away to go and sit down on their bed. 

“Eat and then we can work out what to do.” Troy suggested as he also sat down on the bed.

And as Nick eat his food, taking the occasional chance to look over at his boyfriend he knew that some way he would make it through this. That for the first time in almost as long as he could remember Nick knew he could lean on Troy to help him feel better, for the first time the thing he wanted most right now, when he was at his absolute worse, he could rely on something that was actually good for him, his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this story and I would love to know what you thought in the comments.
> 
> I have read through and corrected all the mistakes I could find but if I missed any you spotted while reading please let me know in the comments.
> 
> ******************************************************************
> 
> If anyone had any story's they would like to see written for this fandom or any other on I have written for please feel free to leave the idea in the comments section or message me on tumbler, the same username as I have on here, and I would be more then happy to give the suggestion a try.


End file.
